last night i went to the sporting goods store and took shorts and tank tops from the clearance racks, tried them all on, tried them on again. i'd worn a sports bra and my hiking boots just because and once i knew what i was buying i pulled everything on and looked in the mirror and told myself this would be what i wore for three months.
three months of hiking in a pair of hot pink nike shorts. three months of sweating through a mesh racerback. three months of wearing down my boots, of going for swims in my sports bra, of washing my hair even more infrequently than i already do (yikes). three months of challenging myself, pushing my body in ways it's never been pushed before, growing stronger and leaner and tanner. three months of slooooowwwing down.
i put everything back on when i got home, backpack too, and studied myself again. i don't look the part yet. my legs are pale and lack the definition a three-month hike demands. my bangs have to spend several minutes with the flat iron to look reasonable, and it'd be ridiculous to bring the mascara and eyeliner i usually wear on the trail. but i do have the clothes now. and i have the backpack. and - i hope, i hope - i have the grit.
three months is a long time, but it's a short time too. in my life now, hours can be long, but weeks and months pass before you realize it. i can't believe it's already november... december... 2015... i can't believe i'm already almost 25... three months of taking a step at a time, dawdling in each minute, going slow enough to notice (whether it's appreciation or despise or wonder or disgust) every thing i pass - it'll be a good way to spend three months of my twenty-sixth year.
i have the grit (i do). i have the backpack. i have a plan. and now i have the clothes.