December 30, 2014

the clothes make the hiker (i hope??)

last night i went to the sporting goods store and took shorts and tank tops from the clearance racks, tried them all on, tried them on again.  i'd worn a sports bra and my hiking boots just because and once i knew what i was buying i pulled everything on and looked in the mirror and told myself this would be what i wore for three months.

three months.

three months of hiking in a pair of hot pink nike shorts.  three months of sweating through a mesh racerback.  three months of wearing down my boots, of going for swims in my sports bra, of washing my hair even more infrequently than i already do (yikes).  three months of challenging myself, pushing my body in ways it's never been pushed before, growing stronger and leaner and tanner.  three months of slooooowwwing down.

i put everything back on when i got home, backpack too, and studied myself again.  i don't look the part yet.  my legs are pale and lack the definition a three-month hike demands.  my bangs have to spend several minutes with the flat iron to look reasonable, and it'd be ridiculous to bring the mascara and eyeliner i usually wear on the trail.  but i do have the clothes now.  and i have the backpack.  and - i hope, i hope - i have the grit.

three months is a long time, but it's a short time too.  in my life now, hours can be long, but weeks and months pass before you realize it.  i can't believe it's already november... december... 2015... i can't believe i'm already almost 25...  three months of taking a step at a time, dawdling in each minute, going slow enough to notice (whether it's appreciation or despise or wonder or disgust) every thing i pass - it'll be a good way to spend three months of my twenty-sixth year.

i have the grit (i do).  i have the backpack.  i have a plan.  and now i have the clothes.